you meet 10 Thai ladies one is bad;
if you meet 10 farang (Western) ladies one is good.
The ladies of the night are different, of course. They are not as complicated as their Western sisters.
Once I told my Thai lady joking: The female knee is the point of no return. She simply replied: I know!
What you should know when you are 'stalking' in a bar or beer garden:
The ladies will take notice of you especially when you are without companion. Give one of them a
smile, she will smile in return: then you are
Invite her for a drink. She will start to communicate in Thai-English: What's your name? Where you from? Where you stay? How old are you?
Usually the Thai lady of your choice will tell you a nickname instead of her family name.
|more about names and nicknames please click here|
In Thailand it is not impolite to ask
Once my Thai lady asked me about my age. I told her and then she pointed at my teeth with a smile: 'Plastic?!'
In other words Thai ladies are very djing djai sincere. Once I met a farang (Caucasian) fallen in love with a Thai lady and she with him, too, obviously. He asked her: "How did you learn English, by the way?" She answered with a honest smile: "By costumers!"
And sometimes they are na
mai ay kind of indecent in my understanding:
In Lamai, Koh Samui, I was sitting at a bar with my Thai lady. Suddenly I felt
the need to visit the toilet. I asked my lady: Hong narm
yoo tee nai? Where is the lavatory?
'Tammai?' 'Why?' she asked me. The Thai expression - for my need at that time - is: 'Puad kee I have to sh**'. I was whispering, of course.
A lady sitting at the opposite side of the bar noticed that I was asking my lady something.
'What is the farang (Westerner) longing for?'
'Farang puad kee!' my Thai lady shouted across the bar. 'The Caucasian has to sh**!'
Flush all over!
For your information: it is more polite to say phuad dtong, to have bellyache.
The first drink is for international friendship. The second drink will start business.
Pai dooai mai? Shall we go together? Your turn probably: How much?
The standard-answer: Up to you.
Never! Enough is never enough. You better tell her in advance. If you want to communicate with her only for a short-time (for a single successful experience) you may say 500 Baht or more. If you have different plans: 1,000 Baht or more. Okay, up to you.
Do not start to bargain! This is no market! Do not touch her feelings, her personality!
"You know why I am expensive?" the Thai lady of my choice asked me the other day and then she started to itemize the parts of her beautiful body.
And you give her the money when she is leaving
Avoid to start an argument. I read it in the Bangkok Post: The farang went angry and refused to pay her. Then the lady grabbed the mobile-phone of the alien and held it out of the window. What would you have done?
Do not treat her wrong! Do not hurt her! The very next day everybody will know about that.
You can notice farang (Western foreigner) trying to get in contact without any chance. Now you know one of the reasons why.
If you treat her the correct way she will not tell too much about you. May be: 'Only touch'. The way you look like there are too many competitors for her.
the feeling to be important.
Whisper compliments in her ear: naa rak lovely face and jai dee good heart. What about khun sooai you are beautiful or rak khun I love you?
Do not underestimate the ladies. The fact that they do not speak English like you does not
prove anything. Usually the ladies speak more languages than you because
many of them are from multilingual border areas. And most important: they have to manage a family.
Look into her eyes, if not it
is possible that she is starting a flirt with your neighbor ;-)
The ladies are like cats, affectionate but changeable.
All together now: La donna e mobile!
Have fun. But fun is no one-way-street. Thai people call fun sanoog. Give her sanoog, too: have a good performance!
And do not spoil everything because you smell, and you do
smell for Thai
people. This is because of a different nutrition.
Take a shower together with her first even if you do not need any help in the bath- room!
When the lady is visiting you in the hotel-room we know all about your plans! But do you really know what she is longing for: To take a shower and to watch the latest episode of her favorite soap-opera on
So I have a clean towel and a second tooth-brush for her and the antenna of the TV-set disconnected (sometimes).
And that is what a Thai friend of mine told me about the ladies: Mai sooai mai dee, not beautiful, not good!
All I know about Thai ladies is that in my opinion the most beautiful girls are originated from Isaan the North-Eastern part of Thailand. What I like is their tanned smooth skin and the way they prrrronounce the 'R' like Mexican mariachi-singers. Usually their nicknames start with a 'N' like Noi, Nad, Nuch, Nut and so on.
The advantage is that they like to flock together thus seldom you will encounter a loner but the drawback is that they are using Khmer, the Cambodian language and you started to learn the Thai language hopefully.
Last not least I will tell you a secret men
usually shouldn't know. The topic is menstruation.
Thai ladies call it in a slang expression pen men.
All I knew about it was that katoey,
ladyboys, do not pen men.
But then I stayed with the Thai lady of my choice for more than 4 weeks and
nothing happened. After a while I started to frown. May be she is a lady-boy
after all? No, I knew better. She is pregnant? No, I was using condoms. She had
an other men? No again. I am the very best. How on earth could she hide
something that had to happen monthly?
I simply asked her. She smiled overwhelming and showed me a piece of yellow colored sponge shaped like an egg. It is called luuk gai (child-chicken, chick).
Now I know and you do not have to worry anymore if your Thai lady stays busy with you, do you?
But this is a secret. Please do not tell anybody!
to ' Ladies '
last updated: 05/16/06